dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
