I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
