Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
