I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
