I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
