so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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