The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
