i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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