Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
