Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
