If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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