I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize