dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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