i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
