There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
