There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
