he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
