That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
