how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
