She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
