I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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