The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
