just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
