i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize