I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
