she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I believe in your delicious
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
