I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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