wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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