The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
im holly from the hills drunk
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Randomize
