Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
