I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
This house was built for laser tag.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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