If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
