so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
