Tell her she can't have a vagina
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
