no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
