i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I deserve this hangover.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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