He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
i believe in u and ur pee
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
