I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
porn star boner night. come get it.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
