wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
