Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He had one of those small greek statue penises
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
