Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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