If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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