He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
