This girl is more easily done than said...
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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