i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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