I want to stick my p in your. b.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
