Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
