i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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