Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
