Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
