he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
