I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I want to fling myself into the sun
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize