so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
