I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
