Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
