Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
