so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize