And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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