You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
