R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize