If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
