Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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