I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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