M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
